It's that time again!

So it is only a few days before Jared deploys again :(  This time it will be a full 7-8 months!  The thing is, though, I am sort of looking forward to it.  Now don't get me wrong, I REALLY hate being away from him; However, I cook more when he is home, and I tend to cook more junk food too.  I also tend to not workout when he is home.  Now that he is leaving, I will be able to at right and workout, so that I can hopefully lose the weight that I have been trying to lose FOREVER!

I will also be able to keep up with this blog, as I don't get on the computer much when he is home so I can spend time with him instead.

Well, that is all for today, but after he is off, and I am starting my routine I will update, and more often (hopefully). Good day to all!

P90X week #1......

........is finally over!  I made it, and I am feeling good.  I am very sore, but I am taking it as a good thing.  The more sore I am, the more weight I am losing.  That means I am working hard (I hope that's what it means).  I have been trying to eat healthy and have stuck to the work out for the whole week.  Now to keep pressing on.  I am determined to lose this weight if it kills me (which I hope it doesn't!).  So far it is going slow, but I figure if I keep it up, it should start coming off in the next week or so, or at least I hope, because that is usually when I get discouraged.  I really need the motivatin too, and I believe that I deserve to look good, and especially if I am working this hard, I should get something out of it! 
Anyhow.... I just thought I would update everyone.  So I am off for now.  I'll probably update again, once I hit 30days (unless something drastic happens before then).
Tata.

A new me.....

So, I have finally committed to doing a workout program, and I intend to actually stick to it this time.  I started P90X on Monday.  Today was day 3, and I struggled seeing as how I was still sore from Monday's workout.  I am kinda lovin' it, though.  I have a little bit more energy already, and I am getting into a good routine.  My goal is to lose at minimum, 40lbs before my hubby gets home from deployment.  However, as much as I think I might look a little sick, I think I would like to lose a bit more than that, seeing that we are going to try to get pregnant again when he gets back.  I figure that way I have room to gain weight, and if I don't lose it all, I won't be as big and as unhappy with myself.
I have before pictures and I intend to take more at 30, 60, and 90days to show my progress.  However, I do not feel comfortable showing them at this point in time.  Perhaps when it is over, and I have acheived my goal, then I will share with the world.
I do hope that I can be a motivation to someone like a friend is for me, and I will stick to it this time b/c of that.  She is helping me through, and knowing that I might actually look the way I have wanted for a long time, and be healthier to play with my daughter, also motivates me.  I want to be able to chase her, and keep up and not have to worry about not being able to breathe (which isn't just from being out of shape, but if I could eliminate that part, it would really help). 
Anyhow, that is all I have for now, but I will be posting a little more now that I have a little more free time, and I want to keep everyone informed of my progress.  Check back soon!

For the Curious

For those who are curious about the answer to the question blog....

We are waiting until January to start trying for a second baby.  Haleigh will be close to turning 2 and she will be big enough to help with little things, and I will hopefully not be too overwhelmed.

Now, let's see what else......

.......ok, so I don't have much, but I am going to figure something out about this whole blogging thing, and then I will be back and better than ever. 

Have a great weekend (early) everyone!!!

Thinking Thursday.........

Well, I totally didn't put up any pictures b/c I forgot.  Then yesterday was super busy, with Haleigh's 1yr appt., and a wic appt., and running Jared all over to fix his uniform for a picture b/c he won the board for NCO of the quater.  Yay hubby!!!

Anyhow...Today is Thursday already, and it is a gorgeous day!  It is going to be 82* out, so Haleigh and I are going to head to the park on her new four wheeler.  I am hoping to get some sun, as I never get to tan, (and I LOVE tanning in the bed b/c it is so relaxing and I get to forget everything for a whole 30minutes!). Not to mention, when I am tan, I feel so much happier with myself. 

Everyday Frustrations

Here I am!  I am back after a long week of inlaws being here, and preparing for a 1yr old's birthday, and getting the birthday over with. I had a lot of fun, and I am pretty sure she did too.  She got more toys and presents than any child could ask for!

I should be cleaning the house right now, but I'll get to it this afternoon : p ....  I (like a friend of mine was saying) have been trying hard to lose weight, and get healthy, but am getting super frusterated because it never works out or me.  I , like many, have tried fad diets, eating healthy, taking diet pills, working out, starving myself, counting calories, etc....and nothing ever helps.  I want to look good for my hubby, and for my daughter.  I do not want her to be embarrassed of me when she gets older.  I try hard to keep her healthy as well, but some people just don't seem to understand.  (That is another topic!)  I was the heaviest I have ever been when got pregnant, then gained weight from that, and therefore was even heavier.  Now, I have lost about 20lbs since Haleigh was born (a year ago), and have worked hard to do it.  However, I am still "obese" as far as the world is concerned.  That does not make me happy.  I wasn't happy with myself anyway, but that makes it worse.   I am going to continue to try hard, and keep everyone posted who is on this journey with me.  Thank you for joining me!

I will post pics tomorrow.

Now, about inlaws and keeping baby healthy....

I may seem like a fanatic or something, but because type 2 diabetes, and obesity run in both sides of  the family...  Not to mention how I have struggled with my weight since I was pretty young  ... I try to make sure that Haleigh eats mostly only healthy food.  Alot of vegetables, and fresh fruits etc. and not much junk food.  We try to give her healthy snacks instead of chips and sugar and such.  The problem is, that when family is around they insist on feeding her ice cream, milk shakes, candy, etc. every chance they get.  I am sorry, especially at 3 months of age, I don't believe babies need that stuff!  They are developing all the fat cells they are going to have for life, during the first year!  Now that she is a little older, I don't worry about it as much, however, she still doesn't need alot of junk; such as two ice cream cones within a few days of each other, plus candy during the day everyday, and cake and ice cream on her birthday all in the same week!  That is ALOT of junk for a one year old.

Now don't get me wrong, I do not just sit back and let this happen without saying anything. But when I say no (nicely) and try to explain that don't want her to get sick and such, I get dirty looks, and people get upset, it makes me mad.  Or when they say "we did that with so and so when they were that age and they turned out fine..."  Sorry, but no they didn't or I wouldn't be so worried about it!  Have you seen them lately?  I know that is a little harsh, and I have never said it, but when you get pushed, it makes you want to.  She is my child, and you didn't like it when people told you how to raise yours, so don't do it to me!  I just don't get it!!!

Well, I guess I am through venting for now.  I will be back again to keep everyone posted on the progress of losing weight and staying healthy.  I have a goal, and I intend to reach it no matter what it takes.     

A PieCe oF mY liFe: Pregnant or Not Pregnant.......To get pregnant or to wait......Those are the questions!

A PieCe oF mY liFe: Pregnant or Not Pregnant.......To get pregnant or to wait......Those are the questions!

Pregnant or Not Pregnant.......To get pregnant or to wait......Those are the questions!

             For the last few days I have been either waking up in the night feeling nauseous, or feeling nauseous in the morning for a bit.  I never been one to eat breakfast nor am I hungry for breakfast, but lately, I have been hungry when I wake up, and I will eat something then be hungry again within about 2 hours.  I am on birth control, but I know that is not always 100%.  Now here's the thing...
            If I am pregnant, I would have gotten pregnant in Feb, which means the baby would be born in Nov. and I am not totally against that.  That is more around the time I would have liked for our next baby to be born. 
           As I said yesterday we have been discussing another baby, and if we were to get pregnant when we were discussing, the baby would be born in the same month as our daughter.  I'm not sure that is fair to her.  I have also been thinking that I am not sure I am ready for another baby just yet. Now don't get me wrong;  I LOVED being pregnant, and I absolutely LOVE Haleigh, but I want to be fair to her, and I am torn whether she needs a sibling close to her age or if I should spend my time raising her and sort of spoiling her right now.  Then when she is older we can have another, but then they won't be very close to each other.  I know that if we have a boy, they may be close when they are young, but then when they get older they will be very different, and I don't really know how that works b/c I don't have a brother.  I am the oldest of four girls all very close in age. 
          Ok, enough of that for now. I am trying to get healthy, and nothing seems to be helping.  I have only lost 20lbs since Haleigh was born and she is about to be 1!  I am short and I am not happy with my body.  I agree with my very good friend that the number is not what matters.  If I were tall, my number would be ok for me; as my sister's number is a bit higher and she looks great, but she is 4-5inches taller than I am. 
          I was just hoping that someone had something for me to try different.  I do not gain weight, really, however, I can't lose it!  I generally stay at the same weight until something happens and I gain a little, and then I just hold on to it again.  I didn 't gain that much when I was prenant, but seeing as how I am short, and I was already a little big for my age and size, it doesn't look so good on me.  I guess I just need a little encouragement, and advice.  I tend to try one thing and if it doesn't start working within a couple weeks, I give up.  I know there is really no quick fix, but I suppose that is what I feel like I need.
         I am just rambling now, so if anyone has any advice or even just comments, feel free, and I'll be back another day.

At it once again.....

So I have sort of been inspired by a really good friend to start this up again, and hopefully not neglect it this time. 
So for the past, however long it's been (since I posted), I have been through alot.  I have been through a very short deployment, that ended up not being anything like it was "suppose" to be, while raising a 9month old, who very quickly learned how to walk, and talk a little bit.  I have tried not to kill one Budweiser (beagle) for peeing on my floor at what seemed like every chance he got, and even made a few new friends. 
I learned a little bit from the deployment (as short as it was), and my relationship with my husband grew a little stronger. 
Most recently, Jared has been home (for a little over a month, now), and we have been planning a birthday party for our almost 1 year old! I can't believe it is that time already!! 
Our little one is potty training now, and so smart I can't even believe it.  I don't want to rush her, but she has let me know when she is ready to do everything.  Not to brag at all, but she has really done everyrthing pretty early so far.  I only hope she is not too smart for her own good.  I do want her to be smart, but I do not want her to be the genius 5th grader who is in high school getting made fun of.  Not to mention, I do not want to fight with her because she thinks since she is in high school, she gets to do what the other high school kids are doing.  I just don't think I could handle that.  Anyhow, for now she is only 1 and we will just take it one day at a time. 
I have loved staying at home with her, and being able to see her grow, learn, and change (which I am positive she does within hours!).  She looks so much like her father it is breaks my heart at times (when he is gone, and I look at her and see him).  I only wish she were around other kids a little more.  We don't live close to family at all, so she doesn't get to see her cousins very often.  Once or twice a year at most.  I hardly know what to do with myself she is so good.  She only whines when she wants something and of course if you don't give it to her, but she has always slept through the night, and never really cried to go to sleep.  I tell everyone she made it easy to be a first time parent. 
On that note...Jared and I have been discussing trying for another.  I am really torn.  I want another baby.  I have always wanted lots of children (which now, I am thinking the 5 that I wanted I don't want quite so much anymore).  Don't get me wrong, I love children and Haleigh is the greatest treasure in my life, but I want to spoil her.  I want to give her everything she wants, and I am afraid if we have more, then I won't be able to do that.  We discussed, that if we have a boy, that will be the last (at least until they are pretty grown up), but I don't know that I could do that either.  I am already going to be 26 years old, and I know the older you get the harder it is to have children.  So I guess we will just have to play that one by ear.  The next issue is that another deployment (a real one this time) is coming up, and we have discussed getting pregnant before he leaves.  I would like that for obvious reasons, but also for the fact that I think I can raise Haleigh and be pregnant while he is gone alot better than I think I could raise a newborn and Haleigh while he is gone.  However, I wanted to lose more weight (as I have only lost 20lbs from when Haleigh was born) before I got pregnant again, and I wanted to be pregnant in the summer so as not to gain as much this time.  I was hoping to get pregnant around Jan. so the baby would be born towards the end of the year as well, so we don't have all birthdays at the beginning like we do now.  If I get pregnant before he goes, the baby will likely be born in the same month as Haleigh (as that will be the same time frame we got pregnant with her).  I guess I am ok with that, but I am afraid of gaining more weight.  I have a very hard time losing it, and with a new born, and a 2 year old, I don't think I will have much time to workout. 
Comments are appreciated.
I am done for today, but I will be return tomorrow, and continue the topic of the last couple of months and having another baby.